What would it feel like to be a baby for a day? Your meals and clothes would be prepared for you, and your busy work schedule would be replaced with hours of mindless fun. All the responsibilities of adulthood would fade into the distance, giving way to a simpler life, if only for a short time.
It’s a fantasy that Seattle resident Smook has tried to suppress for most of his life. Growing up poor in Missouri, he had little access to children’s toys or television, and no friends to play with while he spent most of his time outdoors.
In 2013, when he found a group of people who enjoy roleplaying as babies or wearing adult diapers, called Adult Baby/Diaper Lovers (AB/DL), he thought he had found an opportunity to reclaim his childhood. Yet he felt ashamed of his newfound interest in diapers, and he was still concerned about finances. He pushed the idea to the back of his mind.
One year later, Leo, a condominium superintendent on the other side of the 49th parallel, lost his mother. At the suggestion of a close friend, the Ottawa, Ontario resident tried wearing diapers as a coping mechanism for his grief, only to discover the great comfort they brought.
Leo spent the next eight years embracing this side of himself and exploring Ottawa’s AB/DL community. Smook, meanwhile, spent those years coming to terms with his interests, finally taking the leap into Seattle’s AB/DL community in November 2022. This gave them both the opportunity to express their true selves, form strong friendships with people who understand them, and feel loved.
But no fantasy lasts forever: these identities come with many stigmas. Accusations of immaturity, irresponsibility around children, or even pedophilia run rampant in online spaces and news articles. AB/DL people have been assaulted, fired from their jobs, or legally separated from their children for what community members and experts call harmless interests. Nevertheless, as the AB/DL community continues to grow, more safe spaces are appearing in Washington, Maryland, and Ottawa for these kids-at-heart.
Read the full article on The Stranger.
Photo caption: Jason, pictured here on a camping trip with another AB/DL friend. He knew he was into diapers since he was four, but he had to keep it hidden from his conservative, homophobic parents. When he moved to Seattle at 25, he started meeting other AB/DL people and finally began to feel comfortable as himself (Photo © Jason)